


With a Bang and a Whimper

by annabeth_at_the_helm



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: 1950s, Accidental wetting, Adultery, Explicit Sexual Content, Infidelity, Korean War, Language, M/M, Trapper's Clydesdale, Watersports, handjob, pissplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:53:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24323098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annabeth_at_the_helm/pseuds/annabeth_at_the_helm
Summary: It starts with a bang, namely the shell that explodes only a few feet from Hawkeye and Trapper's jeep while it's idling at the side of the road so that Trapper can stop to take a piss.
Relationships: "Trapper" John McIntyre/Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce
Kudos: 24
Collections: Banned Banned Together Bingo 2020, Banned Together Bingo 2020





	With a Bang and a Whimper

**Author's Note:**

> Written for "Sexy & No Good" on my [Banned Together Bingo card](https://bannedtogetherbingo2020.tumblr.com/rules).
> 
> Takes place during "The Constultant," season 3, episode 17, where Trapper gets out of the jeep to take a piss and then they almost get shelled. My naughty mind went to _do you think he wet his pants in shock?_ and this fic was born.

It starts with a bang, namely the shell that explodes only a few feet from Hawkeye and Trapper's jeep while it's idling at the side of the road so that Trapper can stop to take a piss. Hawkeye's _couldn't you have gone before we left home?_ is still ringing in Trapper's ears when they're nearly shelled out of existence. Then the ringing in his ears is from the explosion, and he's ready to give North Korea hell.

Surely he can be forgiven for the fact that, in the face of the shock and the urge to pee, he loses control of his bladder there, by the side of the road, somewhere in the countryside in Korea. He can't believe it at first; he's an adult, he hasn't wet his pants since he was a baby, and now he has to revise his opinion of himself. He never thought he'd be frightened into pissing himself, but here he is.

He runs back to the jeep, and starts it up and revs the engine and drives out of the area like a bat out of hell even as Hawkeye says,

"We almost had an accident there, with that shelling." He pauses just long enough—Hawkeye's peculiar sense of humor—and adds, "well, I guess one of us _did_ have an accident."

"Shut up, Hawk," Trapper grits out, uncomfortable in his damp army briefs and army issue pants. Those things aren't comfortable to begin with, and they aren't improved by being pissed in. "It could have happened to anyone and—Hawkeye! What are you _doing_?"

Hawkeye's hand is between Trapper's knees, rubbing up the inside of his thigh, slowly moving till it's massaging Trapper's limp dick. The problem is, the more Hawkeye's hand moves—the more he uses those talented, _indecently_ talented surgeon's fingers on him—the harder Trapper becomes.

"You lost control," Hawkeye says huskily, continuing to stroke him through his wet army issue pants. Trapper is trying not to crash the jeep, breathing in short, sharp pants as Hawkeye rouses him more and more. He's going to explode—he's going to go off like one of those deadly shells, and it's going to be even more embarrassing than simply pissing his pants is.

"Hawk, I almost got blown up!" Trapper says indignantly. "This ain't no time to be—and your hand is gonna be covered in piss!"

"Oh, who cares about that?" Hawkeye says, licking his lips and continuing to work on Trapper through his piss-soaked pants. "I'm pretty sure you _are_ about to blow," he adds. Trapper can feel his cock throbbing with the almost unbearable urge for release, and Hawkeye knows him intimately—they've been fucking for months now, Hawkeye ought to—enough to know where Trapper is. How close he is to the apex of the jizz-mountain. (That was something Hawkeye once said while buzzed on gin and with his mouth trying to fit around all of Trapper's cock. _You're hung like a Clydesdale,_ he'd said, _and almost to the peak of jizz-mountain._ )

"Hawk, I'm bein' serious. Surely ya don't wanna—"

"Oh, I don't know," Hawkeye says, all nonchalance. "Could be fun to explore, you know? You're close, Trap. Give over." He squeezes Trapper's cock through his pants, and Trapper can feel trickles of piss run down his leg as Hawkeye wrings out the fabric somewhat with his movements. Trapper is achingly hard, maybe harder than he's been in years—than he's ever been, perhaps?—and desperate to let go, but just as desperate to hold on.

"Hawk!" He gasps as his body spirals out of his control, as he jerks his hips up on the seat and _comes_ , feeling indeed like an explosion. An explosion of pleasure, but he feels like pieces of himself have been strewn all over, just the same.

"There you go," Hawkeye says, smug as all hell.

"Damn you," Trapper says, "now my briefs are really disgusting." He moves restlessly on the seat, and glances at Hawkeye sidelong. Hawkeye is sitting, one leg crossed over the other, whistling tunelessly as he stares off to the side as if he didn't just jack Trapper while he was covered in piss. "Hawk?"

"I'm just thinking about how sexy you are covered in come," Hawkeye says casually. "But how much sexier you'd look covered in come _and_ piss."

"Hey now, what are ya sayin'?" Trapper asks, trying to concentrate on steering and not on Hawkeye's contemplative face. That's a dangerous expression on Hawkeye.

"Just that it might be fun to piss your pants on purpose for my amusement. And perhaps to our mutual pleasure." He dodges the blow aimed at him, but Trapper can't help it, now he's laughing. And noticing the rigid bulge in Hawk's own army issue pants.

"Oh, all right, _fine_ ," he says. "But we're doin' that on Frank's cot, not mine."

"Was there ever any doubt?" Hawkeye says, and that twinkle, right there, in his blue blue eyes? That's danger if Trapper ever saw it.

Too bad he knows it's a bomb he'll never avoid—nor does he want to.

It starts with a bang—but the noise Trapper made, when he gave up the ghost and came to the tune of pissplay with his war-time bunkmate and fellow Swamp rat, that's how it ends: with a whimper.

END


End file.
